At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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