I skipped work to stalk him.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
