if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
