Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
