M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I am never drinking with the goths again.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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