I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize