i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
