dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
