Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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