I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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