I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
