I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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