When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
