Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
