Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
