beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize