He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
organizing the empties. That sober.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
