I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
