I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
