Say something about gay babies.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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