How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
