Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
