what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
