How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
