Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
