i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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