Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
