Buhtt sex?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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