dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
