someone owes me an orgasm
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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