Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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