So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize