He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
