I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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