your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
