I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
