I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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