I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
