Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
