my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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