Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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