I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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