oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
