i just google imaged poop.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I was not drunk enough for that final.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
