I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
