Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
