You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
