I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Let's get the cat blown out
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize