awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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