I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
