Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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