Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
