I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
