Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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