My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
