absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
