theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
