im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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