Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
