if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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