You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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