I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
