So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
