we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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