So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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