the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
