it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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