help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just want nice things and good sex
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize