Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
