so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
