Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
it's like iHOP with fire
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
