tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
